My Job Here Is Done

It hit me Friday, while I was shopping for groceries. Normally, I took my son into account when shopping - he would probably need something, and I didn't mind picking it up. This time, I realized I didn't have to get him anything.

Seems he moved out on Saturday. He has his own place, and is taking another step in building his own life. He's the last in line for me, so it's a weird feeling. I know, lots of parents have told me "you never stop being a parent. You never stop caring about your kids." All true, but all my direct descendants are adults. Obviously, my role in their lives must change.

I couldn't help but think back to the time we came here to house-hunt. The military has/had something called "permissive temporary duty" or "permissive TDY". If the member had orders to move permanently to a new unit, the member could go permissive and scout out the immediate area around that new unit before the move.

We came to Colorado from Omaha, the last weekend in April of 1997. A couple of days before we arrived, the local area had gotten several inches of snow. The mountains were covered, and we were so impressed by the natural beauty. My kids were young, and the trip was a cool part of the adventure in being a military family. To see the wonder in my kids' eyes as we checked out the local area was pretty cool.

So many things happened from then to now. Successes, heartbreak, failure, deep affection, recovery, meeting new friends and saying goodbye to loved ones. Through it all, I always had something external on which to focus. There was always someone to take care of, or a job to perform. Now, all those things have either moved on or washed away. Now, the way ahead is wide open. I am truly intrigued to see what God sends my way.

But, I'd be silly to deny the fact that I get a bit choked up about this. The years have gone by so fast. Goals I chased after were achieved, and in some cases once I achieved them they weren't what I expected. Love has come, and just as quickly left for parts unknown. The dreams for the future aren't as easily defined as the ones from my youth.

Other realizations come into play. I don't fit in the coveted secular 18-49 year old demographic - most of this society is marketed away from me and my peers. On some levels, I've reached the peak of my journey. After years of self-centerness in the midst of the rat race, I don't have to run that race anymore.

Regardless, the rest of the journey promises to be a great adventure. I'm blessed to have the freedom others desire. After many years in a cubicle, wishing for freedom, now it's here. It's not scary, but the not knowing the exact way ahead feels like being on top of a mountain. I can feel the breeze, crisp and clean. I can look down from the peak in all directions, pick a heading, and head out. Here we go...