Later today, my daughter (my first-born) gets married. Months of planning, purchasing and stress have culminated in this moment. Numerous family and friends from across the country have converged on this site to share in the joyous occasion.
I can't help but reminisce. On my dresser, I have a small picture of my daughter. She's about a week old, propped up on a pillow (not too steep an angle, and my first wife and I made sure she was safe). Like a lot of young couples, we were filled with joy at the new life before us. We were also a bit anxious, wondering what type of world would exist as our daughter grew.
Not long after, we found out just how real the world would be. My military career allowed us to travel a bit, so as a family we got to see places and things I never did in my youth. We got the opportunity to welcome another child (a son) into our clan. We also got to experience crushing grief as we buried my wife.
Through all those changes and more, I watched my kids closely. I watched them adapt to new surroundings. I commiserated with them after disappointment. I celebrated with them as they achieved goals and set new ones. I argued with them as they developed their own world views. But through it all, eventually we would reconcile and come to understand the updated status of our relationships.
When my daughter and her fiancé announced their engagement, I was excited for them. I was relieved that she'd agreed to marry her best friend. I also came to understand that no matter what I did for her would pale in comparison to what her husband would provide.
I remember the first time I got married, and how my wife and I had that unspoken expectation that we would be together for a long and happy life. We just knew that come what may, our affection and enthusiasm for each other would carry us through any obstacle. I see similar optimism in my daughter and her fiancé.
Yeah, I supported the wedding preparation effort the best I could. It wasn't just cash. It wasn't just the pizzas when the ladies were making wedding favors by hand a few weeks ago. It wasn't just cleaning up after the rehearsal dinner. The best gift I could give her was my unconditional support during this time.
Later today, it will be time to walk down the aisle. As we proceed the 100 or so feet to the altar, it will be the last time I will hold this place as the man in her life. As I step down, her husband formally and publicly ascends to take on that role. He's a good guy, hard-working and quite pleasant. He's easy to approach, but he's his own man as well.
After today, the gifts he gives her will always matter a bit more than whatever I could give her. I don't acknowledge it out of sadness or envy. This is the way things are supposed to evolve. I embrace the change, and understand my role in her life has changed forever.
The last, best gift I can give my daughter is my continued heartfelt support. And, I know that if my first wife was alive, she too would give this union her complete support freely.
It's gonna be a great day. For the newlyweds, it's the start of a wonderful journey. It's their turn, and I pray God's greatest blessings to them and their union.
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