Monday, February 11, 2013

To the Lonely on Valentine's Day

I'm presently "between engagements", "in a dating slump", or "solo lobo". Take a pick.

As a guy who watched two marriages end up close, as well as several relationships crash-and-burn, I  say with no irony nor arrogance that I know a bit about recovering from heartbreak.

There's plenty of advice on this here 'Net to consider, but to me one thing traces through them all. A comedian named Jonathan Slocumb said it best years ago. "U.G.L.Y." stands for "yoU Got to Love Yourself". I haven't heard it in a while, but it came to my remembrance recently.

At this season, you may find yourself alone. Others may suggest "do something for someone else", "do something you like", "turn the page & get out there to meet someone else" or "quit thinking so much". For a certain person at a certain time, one or several of those suggestions may work for you. However, none will work very well if you depend primarily on external human interaction or support.

Never lose sight of two facts: 1) God loves you. Period. 2) If you don't love yourself (in a healthy way), nobody else will.

When I say "love yourself", that doesn't mean self-indulgent over-consumption. You can't spend your way to this place, nor can you drink enough drinks, use enough drugs nor chomp on enough apple pie. You have to know yourself well enough (warts and all) to understand what lifts you up in a positive way. What things leave you feeling refreshed and ready to face the challenges of the day?

For me, I need to pray more. I need to hear ocean waves more. I need to laugh more (desperately so).

What works for you?

It's ok if you don't get candy or flowers on Thursday. You are still worth loving. Take that step & love yourself.

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